Friday, May 16, 2008

President Randolph Scott...nice ring to it!

Yep......I'm now a candidate for President of the United States!! Write me in when you go to the polls on November 4th this year - I'll promise you one thing....nothing. After all, that is the reality of what you are getting from all of my opponents....nothing! This Presidential election might have the most empty promises of any crew of candidates in the history of our great nation!

Here is my platform:
1. Open up oil exploration in Alaska, the Gulf of Mexico and anywhere else to rid ourselves of Middle East oil in the short term - while we get crackin' on alternative fuels.
2. Get the heck out of Iraq.......let them blow each other up if they choose....that is what they have been doing to each other since time began...it's comfortable to them, so let them have at it.
3. Close the border up good and tight......let's figure out whether we want a "guest worker" program or no program at all.......but first, stop the flood of illegals into the U.S. from Mexico.
4. Regardless of who is affected, balance the budget right now. No more spending what you don't have...in fact, it's high time we had a surplus so our kids have a fighting chance to enjoy life as many of us have been able to do - that won't happen if they are paying back what our nation squanders today.
5. Stop pandering to the gays demands for totally unnatural relationships.....call it what it is, and what psychiatrists have been calling it for a long time: deviant behavior.
6. Let the majority rule.......if you don't like what the majority likes....MOVE to where you have a majority!

How will I be able to deliver this platform you ask??....Vote out any of the idiots in Congress or the Senate who are opposing my "planks"...simple as that!